January was a hectic month. I returned to work after a glorious maternity leave with the most perfect newborn ever, which, of course, forced the hubs and I to quickly learn about the madness that is getting 2 little ones ready for the day. Despite the new challenges, my toddler still threw her usual tantrums over things that only she understands. Here are the reasons my toddler threw a tantrum this month:
- Her cereal bar broke.
I wish I was kidding! Every morning Olivia asks for a cereal bar and 5 out of the 7 days of the week, the darn thing breaks in half (thank you Nutri-grain). This, obviously, makes the cereal bar inedible and, when we refuse to open another one as it is wasteful, all hell breaks loose. Luckily, if we wait her out we can usually talk her into eating it; but when will she understand that the moment the cereal bar enters her mouth it breaks down even more than just in half?
- Her purse wouldn't close.
To go along with the craziness that is our morning routine, my toddler has recently gotten in to "packing up" for "school" (daycare). This involves finding 2-3 bags and shoving as many crayons, lip balms, hair brushes, band-aids, etc. in to them and then completely losing her sh*t when she can not get them to zip or button because they are too full. I would make a case for the fact that she doesn't need all of that crap but she actually doesn't need ANY of it so it's difficult to determine where to draw the line.
- Her clothes didn't have pockets.
So what does she want to do when we are finally able to get the message across to her that all of the randomness that she has collected is not going to fit in to her 12 bags? Put the overflow in her pockets of course. Unfortunately, not all of her clothes have pockets. Insert frantic mother here and what do you get? A grown-a** woman tossing precious freezer bags at the situation and yelling "Will it fit in these kid?" Yes, my sanity is worth more than the most giant package of freezer bags on the market.
- She wanted to wear Elsa panties, not Ariel (duh!)
Seriously, am I raising a pre-teen or a toddler. There are more similarities than I care to discuss. This is yet another reason that I am almost late for work on the daily.
- She lost her pen...again.
The rule in our house is that toddlers are not allowed to have pens. Unfortunately, this rule is rarely followed as Olivia frequently pops out of no where if someone even THINKS about using a pen. Because of this, there is another rule that pens can not leave the kitchen (yes, this absolutely contradicts the first rule, don't judge). Simple enough, right? Wrong. Somehow, Olivia manages to bury her pen or place it in one of her many bags and then proceed to have a heart-attack because she has "lost" the darn thing. How do you lose something when you aren't even allowed to take it out of the room you are using it in?
- A drop of water spilled on her shirt...and now it is ruined.
Of course if 12 blueberries are smashed in various locations on Olivia's shirt or pants it's no big deal and the world can continue to spin; however, if she is drinking water (yes, water...you know, the kind that dries and allows clothes to continue to be wearable) she feels the need to immediately remove all clothing and demand to be redressed. She also believes that she gains bonus points in toddler land if she does this RIGHT as we are about to walk out the door in the mornings.
- Someone (usually her) messed up her mani.
Recently, Olivia was sick; like full-on vomiting sick. We had to spend a sick day together at home (did I mention that I, too, got this nasty virus) and Olivia just did not feel pretty at all (who would)? So, to compensate for the yucky feeling that she was dealing with, she would throw-up and then request to be, not only dressed but, dressed in a "spinny dress" (one that twirls when you spin) Every. Single. Time. We finally survived this day, although we are still recovering in the laundry department, and the next morning she was feeling a little exhausted but was no longer throwing-up. To celebrate this newfound energy she requested that her nails be painted (don't worry, she knew exactly what colors she wanted as well). Because she had been sick and I'm the mom and no one actually cares if I'm sick, I complied, even though I felt like sh*t and knew she would instantly mess them up like always. Just like clockwork, she messed up my beautiful paint job on her thumb nail. Usually, I just complete the job, let everything dry and then go back and do touch-ups. Not this time! Having been recently sick had left Olivia slightly on edge so she needed touch-ups to be done immediately...so that she could mess them up again...and demand touch-ups again...and again...and again...
- It was time to put pajamas on the baby.
This one left me slightly confused, but I am thinking it was more of a reminder that she believes that she is the boss of the house and wanted to see if I would also comply with demands pertaining to her baby sister. In this particular instance, I did not comply (allegedly I am in charge some of the time) and that sparked a major emotional rollercoaster.
- And my favorite one...I went to the bathroom.
Get this, moms go to the bathroom! Who knew! Apparently this has to be scheduled or the toddler loses her mind. Good to know!
Wish me luck with February!