Coffee gives you all the feels.
As a working mom, I am blessed to have the opportunity to have an actual cup of coffee that is hot many of the days of the week (it is seriously a magical thing). However, on the weekends, when the hubs and I are slated to entertain a stir-crazy toddler (Spring, where are you?) and a baby who is hoping to catch some zzz’s since she won’t nap at daycare, it can get a little intense. Insert a pot or 12 of coffee and we are good to go.
You find tissues in all of your pockets...with the exception of the times when you actually need it.
During a frantic search for lip balm recently I kept looking through my coat pockets, pants pockets, etc. By the end of my search I had a giant pile of tissues and zero containers of lip balm. Damn lip balm addiction!
You have snacks in every bag.
The car console, the diaper bag, work bag, purse, you name it. I have crackers, chips, fruit snacks and applesauce pouches for days.
You secretly hope that AT LEAST one of your mom friends is dealing with the same thing you are, even if it is something that sucks.
"What? So-and-so is teething too? Thank GOD! We can go insane together!"
Your house looks like a daycare...and you're not even sure that you care.
As a mother of 2 girls, not only does my house look like a daycare but it looks like a daycare ONLY for girls. Pink, pink, pink all the time. I mean seriously, are there no other colors for girls?
You have a gauging system that allows you to determine how much spit-up on your clothing you can get away with in public.
“Honey, can you see this?” is something that I ask my husband on the regular. Usually, if I am asking this question, a shirt change is in order.
Despite the daycare décor of your home, the toy section at just about anywhere sucks you right in and you are lucky to get out of there empty-handed.
Especially if I am shopping without my kids, I tend to think about them the ENTIRE time that I am away from them and want to take a quick peek at kid things to see if they “need” anything (and, of course, they always do).
Your husband knows to just go ahead and ask the toddler what's for dinner.
Back in the day, pre-babies, the hubs would come home and ask me what's for dinner (1950's style) and I would reply that it's whatever he was making (hehe, ohhhh marriage). Now, he walks in, passes right by me and will just ask the 2-year-old. The sad part about this is, whatever she says is what we usually end up having.
You dread bedtime because it sucks an entire hour out of your life.
"Mommy, I need water." "Daddy, I need snuggles." "Mommy, I need to go potty." "Daddy, I all done sleeping." KID! Mommy and Daddy want some f*cking quiet time.
You cry because the wine is gone.
Okay, so maybe not every night is this an issue BUT, if it's been a rough day and I need a glass of wine and it is gone...let's just say sh*t gets real and it's best to just walk away.
After the kids are finally asleep, you can't even keep your eyes open to celebrate.
Seriously?! All that work and the hubs and I spend about 3 seconds together before one, or both, of us MUST. CLOSE. EYES.